Her Heart

A nap was in order, but you see, she never naps. Not unless she is very under the weather and then you get lucky enough that she will acquiesce to lay with you, because YOU need it, not her - that much should be clear. So you lay down and she snuggles in, curling around her Pony and you start to drift off. You make yourself stay awake a bit longer though, because if you fall asleep and she does not, she will lay there for over an hour, quiet and bored and just waiting to be released. So she thinks you are asleep, but you aren't, not really. You are awake enough to be aware of her slipping her hot, tiny little hand into yours and whispering, "I Love You!" as she finally drifts off to sleep.

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As she gets older, and her little mind starts to work and remember and obsess about scary things, she starts to need a little light on at night. She has made it thus far by using a little star light that we, the parents go in and turn off as we are going to bed. But you find her one night sleeping- with Pony, Lambchopper and her adventure lantern turned on and perched precariously on her chest. The next day her conversation is filled with hints and meanings but you have to wait for her to mosey about to the point. If you push, if you question, she will retreat. It takes her all day to work up the courage to suggest that she might be needing a more permanent night light in her room. She says this in quiet questioning tones when her Father is out of the room, these things are between us you see. When you look her in the face and tell her that you only want her to be safe, feel safe and not afraid and that if a night light is needed, then you trust her and you will get her one, right now, tonight- her little face flushes with relief. Relief and love. And she grabs your hand and walks with you to the closet to find just the right night light. Your reward for just being there for her is for her to thank you most genuinely and climb up into your lap and sit there cuddling- not for 5 minutes or 7 but for three entire chapters of Harry Potter.

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Afternoon playtime. Lunch is eaten. The Brother's nap is not yet on the horizon- so what should be done with this treasure of minutes? I'll tell you what she does. She gets the globe down and calls The Brother over to her and he goes most happily and readily because he can tell by her tone that he is not in trouble, no, this is a fun summons. And they sit in the sunlight slanting in the room and they spin the globe and giggle. They are talking and whispering, giggling and rolling about. Then, she takes her hand, stops the globe and begins searching for a certain place. you must act like you are not aware of what is going on, if they know they are being observed, they perform or request or fall victim to entropy. She finds what she is looking for and slaps her hand down on the Asian Continent- most specifically China. And in a most secret club tone of voice she says, "This! This is China. The people of China invented silk, and wheel barrows, fireworks...They built The Great Wall of China to keep out the barbarians. I was born there. You were too. We both come from there! We are from China. Me. And. You." And you become more grateful than ever that your home holds two of the greatest things to ever come from that vast country.