On Raising Girls

To say we have put a lot of thought into raising our children would be a big understatement for, in fact, it is kind of all Les and I ever think about. The thing that I have noticed though, is that is seems so much easier to help a boy find his place in Society than it is a girl. We basically have to keep him from bonking his head around too much, make sure he doesn't choke on luggage, or foamy mosaic pieces, or on hoarded food (sadly all of those examples are taken from Liam's personal history), we have to teach him general respect and courtesy, we have to teach him strength of character, goal setting, stick-to-it-ivity... you know, really just your basic steps for becoming a respectable adult.
But with a daughter? Whoa. You have to teach her all of that stuff, plus how to be Princess Leia, Michelle Obama, Jodi Foster, Madame Curie, Katherine Hepburn and Grace Kelley. You have to teach her that Society is tough and is looking for ways to keep her down, you have to teach her how to be tough and soft, assertive and empathetic. And yes, all of those characteristics are good for a boy child to have and if we do it right, he will. Its just that with a girl, you have to make sure she knows that she is in for a fight.

We were at the park the other day, Ev was in gymnastics so it was just Mowgli and The Parents. As we sat watching our very clumsy, gravity incompetent 3 year old climb a 10 ft slide over and over again, this little girl approaches. She is about 4 or 5 maybe. She had been walking around tentatively for a few minutes and she finally decided she wanted to do the slide. She ran up to it, and just as her little hands wrapped around the ladder...her Female Caregiver (mom? grandma?) calls her back and tells her, "Oh! That slide is not for you, that is for big kids. You can't do that one". And then I choked and gasped and died a little inside for this little girl. But she didn't give up. A few minutes later, she tried again, only to be told this second time, that, "That big slide is for the boys. You don't want to do what the boys do."  This second attempt of hers went down just as we were leaving to pick Ev up and if I would have had the time, as God is my witness, I would have taken that little girl on that slide myself! What was her takeaway from that day at the park? How many more days will she have like that? What will her self image be like when she's 15 or 20 or 35?

It is very important to Les and I that our children both be confident, well rounded people who never once believe someone if they are told that they "can't do it". It is my goal in life to have a boy that cooks and a daughter that can change the oil in her car. It is my intention to let my kids fall and get scuffed up if it means that they learn to climb the big slide. It is my intention to push them and cheer them on to whatever goals their amazing minds come up with. It is my intent to see them out in the world fighting for what they want and getting it because they don't know how to give up.