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How excited were you when you learned that your thyroid was shitting the bed?
I'm not afraid to tell you, I was thrilled.
No, really, literally thrilled.
I have been dealing with some personal health issues for awhile now and just today some things are starting to come to light.
It has taken me almost an entire year and multiple blood draws but I finally got the medical confirmation that what I thought was going on with my body, was indeed, just exactly what I thought was going on with my body. So you see, the being thrilled wasn't exactly about the dumb ass thyroid (that's two of my glands that are happily, merrily, not doing what the ever loving #$%& they were created to do), it was about the knowing. I was thrilled because I am no longer going to have to spend the wee hours in the morning looking up diseases on Web M.D.

A year ago almost I realized that my hair was thinning. Not falling out in clumps. Just...thinning. Badly. I also realized that my eyebrows were thinning. I also noticed that I was having less and less energy as the days went by. Just the thought of getting from morning to bedtime was enough to make me weep sometimes. This was when we were still in Ohio so I went to my Doc there and asked for some bloodwork. All normal- except for a very low Vit D. So Vit D supplements and a remark or two about my weight and the levels of stressors in my life.

It just kept getting worse. I was getting more and more tired. I felt (still feel)like a woman much older than my age. Less and less hair. I kept thinking that it had to be my thyroid as I had no  other issues. Just the fatigue and hair thinning.

Recently it got to the point where I was feeling genuine concern for my health and another two blood draws saying nothing was wrong. So away I went to a Reproductive Endocrinologist. The Reproductive part for the PCOS, the Endocrinologist part for thyroid. Man that was a depressing visit. I learned things about the future of my body that I will try not to dwell on. Let us just agree that PCOS is a hell of a thing. And kind of separate from that but not really is Diabetes. Yeah, that's coming too.

So I left with an order for more thyroid blood work, a prescription to TRIPLE the dose of Glucophage I was on. Oh and a whole bunch of Vit D for a level that was even lower than it was months ago. And I was to await word from the Doc.
So I start taking the Glucophage. I only doubled it at first because the Doc told me to go up slowly. That was great advice. For the first two days I was kind of spacey and sick. But then I forgot I was spacey and sick and I just kept taking the pills like I was told because of the diabetes, and the pcos and the insulin resistance and the weight. Except that I didn't notice that I had no appetite. And I kind of got "goofy". I really lost my mind. I was so forgetful that it was a bit scary. I would forget that I was cooking, or that I as talking to another human, I would forget that I was the one driving the car (that happened only once and then I did NOT drive again until I got better). My sister said, out of love, "you look like a cancer patient" and on another night, "talking to you...it was like you are drunk". After a Skype session with my mom, she was really worried about the state that I was in after watching me struggle to maintain a conversation with her. So I talked to Les and he confessed how weird I was and how worried he was. And I sat on my couch and cried my eyes out and I told Les just how bad it really was, you see I am the consummate cover up person. I never want anyone to worry or to know that I am sick or struggling- so I just manage. But this was getting bad. I gave up any pretense of being able to school Ev, or shower every day, or remember that I was doing laundry. I was unable to interact with my children or husband. I was gone.

So last week I get a call form the doctor's office. My thyroid was "ok". And I just cried because I just felt like that was where the issue was and now I knew nothing and I felt crazy.

I stopped taking the glucophage after talking with les as he realized it was the only new thing and that the fatigue had been with me for awhile but the forgetfulness had not. So you know, they might be separate. GENIUS!!! I stopped taking it and within 12 hours I was back to myself again. Almost. I mean I am still exhausted (eff you thyroid) and I am still a bit spacey at times (eff you insulin resistance and thyroid) but I am not a danger to myself or my kids anymore. I am not a shell of a person anymore.
Then today the doctor's office called again. I am not sure what that call last week was but the Doctor looked at my blood work and saw that my thyroid was indeed crapping out. The numbers are not "bad" yet and they said that I JUST hit the threshold for treatment but that's what the issue is. I will begin taking Synthroid as soon as my pharmacy get it to me.
I will see the Doc soon to talk about the glucophage and come up with an alternative. I will fight as long as I have to, to feel like a 38 year old woman instead of a 70 year old woman.
You may bethinking that she was just tired, just goofy but I will tell you that it was bad. It feels bad. It feels horrible to be an overweight, middle aged woman insisting time and time again that her "hyboid" be checked. I felt like my kids didn't have a mother. I was afraid and I was alone.

I bathed my children today. Due to my recent bout with drug induced dimentia and Leslie's regular state of absent minded professor-i-ness...it was their first bath in two weeks. True story.

Now I hate my pituitary and my thyroid. My pancreas is on deck.