That Damn Cat

When you do a lot of reading and some of that reading includes authors that can really creep you out. Like Neil Gaiman for instance.
And when your favorite story by one of your favorite authors is about a cat that does nightly battles with a demon to keep his family safe....
Then when your cat starts up howling his fool head off and hissing in the middle of the night...
 You come out of your sleep with your heart in your throat and wondering how in the hell you, your husband and a cat are going to keep The Devil away from the kids!!!!
With no Holy Water OMG!!!! And no silver ammo jeeze o peet!!!
After you jump out of bed and run into the hall prepared to fight to the death...
What you see when you get there might not be what your mind had you thinking you would see.

If you don't see a Hell Demon standing in your hall afterall...
You are kind of left with that, "What the fuuu...???" feeling.
Then you look down because the cat is STILL carrying on.

That is when you see that the stupid animal was trying to get in your daughter's room to sleep with her, found himself stymied by the closed and latched door and thought that the jingle bell leftover from Christmas that is hanging on her door might be just the ticket to a polar fleece nest of absolute comfort with a bed buddy that doesn't kick you in the face every time they roll over. But he has about twenty blue million toes and one of those claws get stuck in the ribbon holding the bell. And as far as I can tell from the way cats act when this happens- that shit hurts.

You reach down to help the stupid son of a bitch get loose before he wakes the kids up and he looks at you with terror and that terror finally helps him free his claw from the red silk ribbon holding that damn jingle bell in place.

And then you realize a few things simultaneously:

1. Your love of that cat might not prevent his death this night.
2. Teaching your cat to ring  bells hung at the back door was maybe not a good idea afterall.
3. You would fight even The Devil himself while wearing nothing more than an old tank top and granny panties if that is what needs to be done to protect your young.
4. You have somehow become the slathering Rage Demon stalking the halls of your house at night.

In case you are wondering, only one half of this marital union actually made it out of the bed. It was not the half that has had combat training from the US Government.

                                                                    Damn cat.