Sometimes it is hard to sit down and write a blog after you have jotted a few quick sentences about your day on fb. You think, "aw, they got the jist", and tend to be lazy and leave it at that so that is one reason my blogging has fallen off a bit - okay- a lot- lately. The other reason is that I have honestly just been depressed. Just back to the wall depressed and I have had no energy or desire to do anything other than maybe exist.
If any of you out there have ever dealt with depression…it's just a…you can't describe it. It's like being in outer space. No sound, no movement. Nothingness. You just fight against black nothingness. And the blackness wins. Day after day after day. Until one day you see a spark. The spark is different for each person, but is makes you start to pull and fight. It's work. I'm trying.
I'm still on a lot of meds that don't really help because they keep me overweight and sleepy. I have had quite a few issues with my Neurologist and keeping in touch with him as he made a move from one facility to another. I need Botox every three months so I can get off of these oral meds and then I won't feel so bad physically and that will help oh so much! So I am in touch with him now and he is arranging the Botox at his new office.
Meanwhile…The kids are terrific!
Ev is thriving at public school. She has friends, loves math, loves her teacher and eats up having homework. In gymnastics she has moved up a level and her competition season this year should be much more nerve wracking for me to watch. At home, she is nearly the dream child except that she is driven nuts by Liam and she is a bit nasty to him so we are dealing with that issue but I expect that will all settle out when Liam figures out that she didn't hang the moon.
Liam is still evolving as a little person and as a part of the family. This is amazing to me because the evolution that we are seeing is not subtle. It's a daily thing. I'm talking about an adoption thing here, about more and more native personality coming out. Les and I thought we were nuts until we went to Parent Teacher Conferences and the teacher that had him last year said the same thing! He is doing well in school, soaking up learning there and here at home. He loves to play board games and cards. He ca not wait to play baseball in the Spring. He is a very snuggly wuggly little man and I can't get enough of that.
Les is working and working and doing more than his fair share of things here at home to help me keep up. I just do not know how I could manage without him.
