Thursday, June 30, 2011

Tough Nut

Today the kids have been a...nightmare total mess challenge. We have experienced whinging, whining, fighting, suffocating nearness whilst whinging and whining, in-fighting (with each other) out-fighting (them versus us), defiance, eye rolling, sarcasm, denials of tiredness- no, make that "vehement denials of tiredness"- no make that , "strenuous AND vehement denials".

And it was not at all entirely all on the still-adjusting, can't-speak-a-single-freaking-word two-year-old.

At one point when a certain 2-year-old had enough, he began to tell his sister off. I mean he was really laying in to her. For his trouble, he was ousted from "the most wonderful room in all the land" and thus lay heart-broken and weeping in the hall. His relative nearness still rankled Her Highness, so she opened her door and yelled a string of commands that even a robotic servant would have trouble following. Liam's confusion and inability to follow her commands to the letter further irritated her. She was so irritated in fact, that she got out a marker and imperiously "labeled that monkey". Upon  the back of his fat little hand she wrote the letters "B L"- this stands for Bad Listener.
At the time he didn't care a fig.

Then, at dinner? He noticed the letters again.
And got mad. He really got his feathers in a ruffle.
In his way, he began to lay into her-for the umpteenth time today. He was fussing and making the sign for "no" and "sister" over and over while grumbling and complaining and when he wasn't signing, he was pointing a fat little finger at her. She sat, serenely eating her spaghetti.
When he had it all out of his system, he looked at me and gave me a briefing that ended with a furrowed brow and thumbs up.

I guess he told her.

All was well for about 2 minutes. Then Ev started in on her defensive.

I hope to All That Is Holy they wake up on the right sides of their respective beds in the morning.

 Because I am so not above contacting the UN.

In other, not unrelated news, Papa goes back to work tomorrow.

Six Minutes Away

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I Have No Pride...

...which is why I'm about to tell this story:

I was sitting and watching a riveting episode of Dr. Who last night. It was so riveting (even the second time watching)that I was forced to partake in a salty, crunchy snack whilst viewing. Snack of choice happened to be Dorito's by the way.

Later....(like hours later)
Laying in bed with Les, chatting and fooling about with our i-phones. I was playing Fruit Ninja and he was fiddling about with the Hipstamatic Camera. One time he turned the camera towards me and I smiled. The shutter snapped. We waited for the processing. I looked at the result.

I noticed that a bit of the distress effect made it look like there was something at the corner of my mouth. "Huh." I thought. After a few seconds longer I thought "Oh no, that looks eerily like a Doriiii....." (this is where my tongue sneaks out to check the corner in question.

And well. It wasn't the film effect. There was, in fact, Dorito residue on my face.

New. All. Time. Low. Achieved.

And also?


Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Cat Is Up A Tree and Dinner Is Burnt Again

We let Billy Bones out for the first time today. He had his perimeter set in about 46 minutes. He had cruised back by the house and stopped for a treat. He was just generally sniffing and minding his own business when a HUGE FREAKING HYPERACTIVE dog caught his scent. 
Then the race was on. 
There was barking and scrambling. 
There was me leaving my sausages frying on the stove to run interception.
So around the house they came, like bats out of hell. They tore around the neighbors shed and Billy headed for the house. At the last second he veered off and went up the tree. But he didn't just climb the tree. Oh no.
He went hell bent for leather SPIRALING two stories up that tree like nothing I have ever seen. 
He's there now. Up the tree. 
And we are left wondering how the hell to get him down.

Here's a picture for scale. You can see Liam at the bottom and a lump at the fork of the big branches. That lump is Billy.

Les says he's not helping because the last time he tired to get one of my cats out of a tree he got his face pissed on.
What to do....

Update: It's 10:03 pm and Billy is down from the tree, stuffing his face with premium tuna. He did not get down alone however, Les did get on the roof and we lured him out a small branch until Les could grab him, crab crawl back across the roof while holding him, hand him off to me (I was on a ladder) and I brought him down the rest of the way. He was a good kitty. Very trusting and not once did he freak out, scratch or piss on anyone. 

The Boys of Summer

Saturday, June 25, 2011

What Did I Expect?

See this?
This is what happens when you leave your camera laying about in the vicinity of a coupla turkeys. You get home, start loading pictures up and find.... that these two have left you a bit of a surprise.

Well done you two! It gave us all a good laugh when we were road weary and homesick.

Friday, June 24, 2011

She's Seven

Make video montages at

Today was Ev's Birthday. She is now seven. I am not sure where the time has gone. I seem to remember this tiny little Butter Bean of a girl. She is strong and true, this one. Intelligent and bright. A true treasure of a person. The time that we have had with her has been full of pleasant surprises and that rushing feeling you get in your gut when you are falling, falling, falling in love.

Since her birthday was set to fall just after the big move, we broke the celebration up into two parts. Party and presents and cake with The Smokewood Gang prior to departure and then a special day all for her once we were here. Her party at Grandma's was all about swimming, playing, motorized jeeps, tractor rides, cake, presents and balloons. Her day here with us has been trolley rides, Tea Partying and all things she wanted to do. Sadly the Zoo was closed unexpectedly today and then rain moved in and delayed some beach going but I would say the day has been a success.

 The rain has cleared and we shall go spend the evening on the beach and return home for her favorite- Breakfast for Dinner (aka Pancakes By Chief)

And so, I wish my daughter a very Happy Birthday- and may her seventh year be one full of wonder, amazement, magic and growth. May the fairies visit her, may the mermaids find her on the shore. May there be many more tea parties, skinned knees, new adventures and nights when she is tucked into bed half asleep and a bit in need of a bath. May the fireflies dance about her in the evening. May her heart remain strong and true. May she know, in every moment, that she is well and truly loved. May she continue to see magic and good in this world. May her spirit grow stronger. May her light shine bright in this dark world. May the wisdom of the seventh year of life ebb into her being slow and steady.

I would desperately love to stop her right where she is and keep her like this forever. I would. But the promise of who she will become is so bright and exciting that I must let her grow and let her go a bit more each year, each month, each day
 so that she can be herself, so that she can Become.

I love you Ev.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day...JACK.

Happy Father's Day to my Dad. The man that, not only raised me and my sister but the man that is doing a bang up job as being a grandpa too.
Dad, you have been my friend, my father, my confidante, my port in a storm, and yes, sometimes my enemy (but only for brief periods of time when I was say, a teenager or you had to say the things that others could not, but things I had to hear anyway).
My memories of growing up as your child are filled with face cracking smiles, belly aching laughs and lots and lots of love and respect.

I mean look at you: barely healed knees and you are tractoring the kids around- just because you knew they would love it.

New Horizons

We are here.
Settling in is going slowly but, it is going.
Even the beauty of the shore and a new life on the ocean can not erase the homesickness we are feeling for old familiar places.
But we are charging ahead. Unpacking. Arranging. Re-organizing.

Today is Father's Day. Yes it is. I wish I could say that Les got a day that he deserves, full of surprises and nice things, a present or two. But well... it's just more unpacking and breaking down boxes for him. He knows that we love him. He knows that we appreciate him. He also knows that if we have to live in a hovel of boxes and mess for too long that things will get ugly, so for now we will work.

Ev is holding on. She has made a few, seemingly, offhanded remarks about feeling homesick and afraid. She is a tough cookie though, she says these things in a busy moment because she doesn't want too much attention paid to the matter but she wants me to know where she is. We try our best to make her feel safe and secure, to talk to her about it all, as much as she will let us anyway. She'll be ok.

Liam is Liam. He hasn't missed a nap or a night's sleep. He is just rolling with the punches. He loves the floors of the new house, vast expanses of Pergo that he walks about on, all Imperial and slap footy. He loves his new room and his new toddler bed.

The cat is the cat too. He did pretty well. He complained loudly for a bit on the second day of car travel. There have been 2 freakouts over the movers and the internet guy but he recovered quickly and is just being Billy.

Michal and Les are tired, have sore backs, sore feet (see that bit about the Pergo), and a bit overwhelmed by all of the belongings you can accumulate in 17 years of
marriage. So far we like the area, love the neighborhood and are looking forward to jumping into life here on The Jersey Shore. (No. Not THAT Jersey shore. A different Jersey Shore. Our Jersey Shore.)

Friday, June 3, 2011


Ok. So that last post was not the last post from Ohio.

I was packing up the family pictures; albums and boxes full of pictures. So many memories.
I was struck by one thing as I looked, oh so briefly glanced, at those pictures and that thing is this: My children are growing.
Right now and in every moment they are changing. These days with them, I know, I KNOW that these are the best and most golden days of my life and I never want them to end. I don't want time to march heedlessly on. I want stasis. I want more time. More days full of chubby legs and chattering girls. More grubby little necks at the end of a hot day. More little handprints on the windows. More spontaneous hugs from little arms that can barely stretch around me. More of them, just as they are right now. One budding into a bright young lady, right on the verge of becoming...becoming someone fabulous. One right there in that perfect chubby stage between toddler and pre-schooler. I want more little giggles. More imaginary games. I want more of my kids.
More. More. More.
Please let me have more.
I try to catch every moment, to see every expression.
I do not want these golden days to pass by.

There is this boy in my life and he's all round and soft edges and he always smells, mysteriously, wonderfully of maple syrup or of gooey things freshly baked. And sometimes this boy will wander over and clamber up on my lap and he will grab my face and give me long mmmwahs while singing me a song. And he will tuck his head up under my chin and rest against my chest and hum and smile and look back up at me and he will make the sign for love and tell me over and over again that he loves me. I can't begin to tell you how that makes me feel. How is it that I get to hold this boy, this child and watch him grow and hear his little love songs and smell the sweet scent of him? My heart just melts and I feel like I could do anything.

The girl in my life is all action and talk and go go go. And sometimes, if I am very lucky, she will climb in bed with me in the morning and lay still for a bit and let me tuck her into my embrace and she will lay there all sleepy and bleary eyed and she will tell me of her plans for the day. And I will mumble sleepy agreements and affirmations while I feel her lion heart thumping in her chest. I will let my mind wander as she tells me these things, or as she ponders about the art of spying or the world of Link and I will feel her feet, waaaay down there, banging against my legs and I will remember what a tiny bundle she was the first time I held her. And I will nearly be torn apart by the gratitude that floods my being. Gratitude for her. For this magical girl that fills every moment of my life with smiles and laughter and silliness and glitter and all good things.

I do not care where my life takes me, just as long as I get to have these two children here with me. Just as long as I can be called their Mama.

Imminent Limbo

It has begun in earnest.
The movers will be here Monday. And if anyone is keeping track- that's 2 entire days sooner than we planned. Yeah. Apparently the two entities in control of our life have very interesting ways of communicating with each other. Ah well, I'm over it- mostly.
So here we go.
I have been working and cleaning for about 3 days now. Calling utilities. Setting a cut off date for the internet. Packing up the belongings that we will need for our 14 days of homelessness. All of the normal move stuff, ya know?
Somehow, I remain in denial. I keep thinking this is a big silly game we are playing and "Oh my! Isn't my Spring Cleaning intense this year?"
It's not like I am dreading the adventure of living in Jersey. I actually think that we will have alot of fun there. It's not like I am so in love with my current address that I would spend 50 years here. It's mostly that I am near family now and I like it like that.
Oh and waaa waaa waaa! I will stop the whining now. The move is happening. It's real. And unless I want to live 4 years without my husband I will shut the hole under my nose and keep packing.
All of that was to be able to say the following: It will be awhile before my next post.
My next post will be from Cape May, NJ.
My next post will be full of pictures from Ev's 7th birthday and the move and how much Liam has grown.