What I really want to talk about is her bodacious nature in general.
For instance she runs these campaigns and, trust me, it's an all-out assault. She will flood us with e-mails, loooong drawn out conversations (akin to those mind control experiments you read about taking place in the 50's and 60's in Soviet Russia), you will receive handwritten notes with little magical creatures drawn in the margins suggesting you do whatever it is that
In negotiations about anything concerning money? She is sharp, and she will not miss a single detail. So if we are going to the movies and she has suggested that she pay for something (because she likes to "treat" me), it will be necessary to first research the ticket costs, decide if we are sneaking in snacks or not, decide if we will be purchasing our drinks at the theater, and on and on. Eventually she will have enough data to commit to the aspect of the date that she cares to fund. Here's a hint: it's always the cheapest. AND if you decide that you want something not previously discussed, it will be clarified right at the register that you are violating contract and thus it's on your own dime.
Today we had negotiations concerning the trip to the dollar store. Now, in order to save my house from being over run in junk and also to ensure the she has money left over for things that don't break in 24 hours or things that are not office supplies, I have set a limit of $5 for her to spend at the dollar store. Today we had to clarify which of us would be picking up the taxes on her purchases.
Les was sitting right next to me as this conversation took place. I was glad of that because he is usually not around and I really like witnesses.
I look over at Les with my eyes bugging out of my head and an expression that said, "Did you just see that?! Hear that?!?! How crazy is she?!!" He looks at me, nods and says:
"Oh yeah. I get it. AND tell me this, have you ever heard of a 7 year old who has some of her Barbies throw the other ones into a lava pit?"
I'm like "....." "No?"
He says: "Well I was a boy who played with army dudes and soldiers. They were in war--war!-- but I can tell you that not once did any of my guys commit such war-time atrocities that took place with those Barbies today"
He got quiet for a minute and then said, "They did kind of deserve it. They were being just plain horrible to the other Barbies"
And that is how
In summary: Mind control, subversive literature and lava are her Holy Trinity.
No wonder Liam looks twitchy some days.
Megatron on a recent trip to the beach.