Megatron

Ev and I had a "date" today. Date Day usually involves the two of us heading out for a movie and some pretty serious time at the dollar store. Any dollar store will do, thank you very much. The dollar store is her thing--not mine. I hate being in a dollar store actually, but it's her dream and so I wander about and let her sift though things and weigh the pros and cons between say, a little notebook (of which she already has about 12 at home) or a new clip board. Also it is imperative that she be allowed to direct any and all conversation and that you do not go on auto pilot for your half. I love Date Day and that is not sarcasm. I LOVE having a certain time where she and I can just be together and I can be all hers for just a bit. We had a great time today but, that's not what I want to talk about.

What I really want to talk about is her bodacious nature in general.

 For instance she runs these campaigns and, trust me, it's an all-out assault. She will flood us with e-mails, loooong drawn out conversations (akin to those mind control experiments you read about taking place in the 50's and 60's in Soviet Russia), you will receive handwritten notes with little magical creatures drawn in the margins suggesting you do whatever it is that Megatron Master of the Universe  Evelyn wants. She will wait until you are brain dead and carbed-out after a meal of mac-n-cheese with a side of garlic toast and get you to grunt a positivish sounding grunt to a particular date and time for whatever it is that Megatron Master of the Universe  Evelyn wants.

In negotiations about anything concerning money? She is sharp, and she will not miss a single detail. So if we are going to the movies and she has suggested that she pay for something (because she likes to "treat" me), it will be necessary to first research the ticket costs, decide if we are sneaking in snacks or not, decide if we will be purchasing our drinks at the theater, and on and on. Eventually she will have enough data to commit to the aspect of the date that she cares to fund. Here's a hint: it's always the cheapest. AND if you decide that you want something not previously discussed, it will be clarified right at the register that you are violating contract and thus it's on your own dime.

Today we had negotiations concerning the trip to the dollar store. Now, in order to save my house from being over run in junk and also to ensure the she has money left over for things that don't break in 24 hours or things that are not office supplies, I have set a limit of $5 for her to spend at the dollar store. Today we had to clarify which of us would be picking up the taxes on her purchases.

Les was sitting right next to me as this conversation took place. I was glad of that because he is usually not around and I really like witnesses.
So yeah...Megatron Master of the Universe Evelyn gets all of this pesky tax business negotiated to her liking and wanders off.
I look over at Les with my eyes bugging out of my head and an expression that said, "Did you just see that?! Hear that?!?! How crazy is she?!!" He looks at me, nods and says:
"Oh yeah. I get it. AND tell me this, have you ever heard of a 7 year old who has some of her Barbies throw the other ones into a lava pit?"
I'm like "....." "No?"
He says: "Well I was a boy who played with army dudes and soldiers. They were  in war--war!-- but I can tell you that not once did any of my guys commit such war-time atrocities that took place with those Barbies today"

He got quiet for a minute and then said, "They did kind of deserve it. They were being just plain horrible to the other Barbies"

And that is how Megatron Master of the Universe Evelyn gets dates, her sales tax funded, and how she rules her little Barbie kingdom.
In summary: Mind control, subversive literature and lava are her Holy Trinity.
No wonder Liam looks twitchy some days.

                                                  Megatron on a recent trip to the beach. 

Overheard

The scene: Mama* is in the kitchen and the kids are in the garage. The kitchen door is open to Mama is "blissfully" aware of each utterance.

Ev: Here Liam, let's dance!
Liam: Nuh. Anksss. (no thanks)
Ev: Yes! It will be fun and amazing!

bits of music drift in from her i-phone
Mama can hear the shuffle hop of one little person dancing

Ev: Leeeeeeaaaammmm! It's dancing!
Liam: Nuh. Anksss.
Ev: Yes! Dance!
Liam: Uh! Nuhn! Hun! Ankss! Rah! (which is him telling her off)
Ev: Liam. I am your superior and you WILL dance. This is a dance party. NOW DANCE!!!
Liam: NUH! ANKSSS! EMAUH!! EEEUMM NUH ANS!!! (no! Thanks! Evah! Liam NO dance!)
Ev: Liam, as GOD is my witness you will dance or you will be VERY VERY sorry!!!!
now.... DANCE YOU FOOL!!!!!


Mama now heres the shuffling and hopping of two little people.

* The Mama in this case -the Mama who usually intervenes- was very tired after refereeing an entire day that went like this. Also the Mama? Well, she just kind of wanted to see how it would play out. We don't have cable you know, I have to get entertainment somewhere.

42 1/2 Inches

The inches keep stacking up. The penciled in lines along the bathroom door frame keep getting higher and higher. My daughter just keeps growing. The planes and angles in her face subtly shifting and changing with each passing month. Her laughter keeps deepening. Her reasons for giggling change. She can do handstand forward rolls and bridge kick-overs. Her mathematic ability and her ability to reason keep growing.
It has been so amazing being here and being her Mama on the sidelines watching her grow and change. Its like watching a speeding train.
I want it to stop. It won't though. She will just keep growing and changing and eating up life. She wakes up every day with a smile on her face and a go get 'em state of mind. I want it all to stop..and yet... And yet I am sitting here waiting breathlessly for the next stage of awesome.
I can't wait to see how this girl will take the life that was given to her and live it. I can not wait to see who she is in 10 years, in 15 years...
She is like a white, hot light that fills you up and makes you believe in Santa and Fairies and mermaids.
She is incandescent.
Look out world, she's coming.
Ready or not, she's coming.

Here's to you Kepler 16b

NASA has discovered the first circumbinary planet!
It's Tatooine!!
This Universe is vast and amazing and so much cooler than we could ever imagine.

Tatooine aka Kepler 16b

NASA sez...

Oh my little geek heart is singing a song!
What song you ask?

 Why, THIS  song, of course!




And if you don't know what Tatooine is? Shame on you.
But you can get your daily dose of geek factoidery right here:
Factoidery
 I love it when the best of human imaginings match up with the design of the Universe.
Don't you?

Time at the beach is time well spent.

September 11

It is so very hard for me to take my memories and emotions from this day and set them to words. The words have all been said before and by people who can say them more eloquently than I. The emotions, even after 10 years are too raw and tangled for me to be able to do anything with.

We took our time yesterday, time for reflection and grief. We spoke the words that we hold in most every day of the other 364 days of the year. That day. The War. The loss. The pain. The big hole that is left in the skyline and in our hearts.

And then we did what we do every year, we tried to get back to normal because what else can we do?

The Price of Adventure

Well, one step forward, two steps back.
We moved Liam into a toddler bed when we moved here to the new house. Big mistake. He was not really ready and though it caused no real emotional issues we did have, shall we say, issues of the wandering out in the morning and playing in the cat litter variety. So I had to devise an alarm system for his door. After a week or so, he stopped wandering out of his room. Great. I took the bells off and we have chugged along with no other issues.
Or so I thought.
Three days ago, I put Liam down for a nap and then went in to take a shower. When I was drying off, I heard him yelling his, sweet and innocent, "Mama". The call that says, I slept and now I am sitting here and waiting for you to come and get me and hug me and tell me what a good boy I am.
But he didn't, he wasn't and he most definitely wasn't.
Here's the scene when I walked into his room:
Toy box open and toys strewn everywhere.
Fan off.
Light on.
Kid in the middle of the room with a gun in one hand and a shit-eating grin on his face.
You guys? I know how he plays and I can tell you that he was out of that bed and causing mayhem from the time the door hit its frame as I was on my way out. He got in trouble and seemed contrite so I thought we had this issue settled.
Silly Rabbit . . . Trix are for kids.
Tonight.
Bedtime routine.
All goes well.
Les and I are just sitting down to a movie when Ev comes down the hall and says, "Guys, Liam is in my room." And we were all like, "Aww hells no."
But he was.
As we walked down the hall, we saw this little figure dart into Liam's room and try to close the door. We got there, opened the door and what to our wondering eyes appeared?
Well it was one little man and another gun.
The light was on.
The fan was off. The curtains were opened.
His step stool was out.
Yes.
Yes, he got out of bed, illuminated the scene, played, got bored, and decided to go get Sissy.
Looking back, it was the getting Sissy that did him in. He forgot she works for the Other Team.
Now, the Little Recidivist is back in his crib.
Considering the Refinement of his techniques and the fact that he went down the criminal spiral from a Misdemeanor to Mischief with Intent, it had to be done.

We had him stand there and watch as we took his big boy bed out and reconstructed his crib at 10 pm. Yes we did. The fact that we made him watch does not make us mean but, the fact that we enjoyed it? Well, that MIGHT qualify as Cruel and Unusual, but he had a tough Judge and a Public Defender.

It Has Begun

Last Friday was our first day of school. I will confess to being underprepared and a bit on the unenthusiastic side. Not my student! She was up at the crack of dawn getting ready. Bless her little heart, she had he bed made, her dress on, her hair done and a little bag packed by about 7:45 am. She happily came to the family room and jumped into the school year. I think it's going to be a good year.
Liam remembers the routine a bit and he was a bit easier to wrangle and keep out of her hair as she worked. Ev seems to remember the difference between our regular realtionship and the teacher/student realtionship. I think she is also aware of how close she came to being out into public school this year, so she is rather appreciative.
Les and I will catch up on the planning end as I am deadly serious about not winging it 90% of the time this year. I want to have time to have fun, and have lots of projects and experiments. I mean, we are getting to do Earth Science this year and that thrills the geek hearts that beat in the chest of her father and I!
I do not have a complete list of our curriculum yet, as we are still trying to figure out a few things but I will post about that soon. I do know that in about 3 weeks we are having Family Olympics complete with togas and laurels and Greek food! (shhh! no one tell Ev she doesn't know)
We are also still coming to terms with the environment of our little school as well. I need a good table like surface, some storage and more book shelves. Anyone have any good ideas?

So here she is, my big Second Grader!

Slicing Pineapples

It seems like one of those kitchen duties that should slide by without notice, a thing you do and just move on. The thing is, I love slicing a fresh pineapple, and when I am at that task, you will probably catch me standing there, slicing and chopping, making a huge pineapply mess with a dreamy look on my face and a smile on my lips.
It's the power of smell you see. It's the memories that rise up as I smell that fresh pineapple.

As I slice into the fruit and that scent drifts up and hits my nose, I am transported. I am taken all of the way back to a dark summer night in 2004 and I am in a car. It is dark as pitch and I am with Les, the windows are down and we are cruising about in Hawaii, he's driving. There is soft music playing and we are talking and laughing like we do most anytime that we are together.We are driving up the road and then, suddenly the most delicious scent of pineapples wafts into the car. The air was thick with that sweet, sweet smell. We were driving by a pineapple plantation and it was...amazing. That smell in the night air. My husband there next to me.

I don't even remember what we were talking about. I can make a guess that some of it had to do with the little girl we were waiting to meet- alot of it actually. But I know there were other topics, and silly jokes and a fair smattering of sarcastic commentary.

I love that he has been with me for 17 years- that I can always count on him, that he is the perfect fit for me. Our life has changed so much since that dark night when we smelled the pineapples, but many things are the same. The way I feel for him, how I still like to drive around at night with the music low and air rushing in the windows and talk to him -I don't think those things will ever change.

When I slice a pineapple, I remember just how cool it is to be his wife. And that's why I buy fresh pineapples and go through the trouble of slicing them when no one here really likes to eat them.