Megatron

Ev and I had a "date" today. Date Day usually involves the two of us heading out for a movie and some pretty serious time at the dollar store. Any dollar store will do, thank you very much. The dollar store is her thing--not mine. I hate being in a dollar store actually, but it's her dream and so I wander about and let her sift though things and weigh the pros and cons between say, a little notebook (of which she already has about 12 at home) or a new clip board. Also it is imperative that she be allowed to direct any and all conversation and that you do not go on auto pilot for your half. I love Date Day and that is not sarcasm. I LOVE having a certain time where she and I can just be together and I can be all hers for just a bit. We had a great time today but, that's not what I want to talk about.

What I really want to talk about is her bodacious nature in general.

 For instance she runs these campaigns and, trust me, it's an all-out assault. She will flood us with e-mails, loooong drawn out conversations (akin to those mind control experiments you read about taking place in the 50's and 60's in Soviet Russia), you will receive handwritten notes with little magical creatures drawn in the margins suggesting you do whatever it is that Megatron Master of the Universe  Evelyn wants. She will wait until you are brain dead and carbed-out after a meal of mac-n-cheese with a side of garlic toast and get you to grunt a positivish sounding grunt to a particular date and time for whatever it is that Megatron Master of the Universe  Evelyn wants.

In negotiations about anything concerning money? She is sharp, and she will not miss a single detail. So if we are going to the movies and she has suggested that she pay for something (because she likes to "treat" me), it will be necessary to first research the ticket costs, decide if we are sneaking in snacks or not, decide if we will be purchasing our drinks at the theater, and on and on. Eventually she will have enough data to commit to the aspect of the date that she cares to fund. Here's a hint: it's always the cheapest. AND if you decide that you want something not previously discussed, it will be clarified right at the register that you are violating contract and thus it's on your own dime.

Today we had negotiations concerning the trip to the dollar store. Now, in order to save my house from being over run in junk and also to ensure the she has money left over for things that don't break in 24 hours or things that are not office supplies, I have set a limit of $5 for her to spend at the dollar store. Today we had to clarify which of us would be picking up the taxes on her purchases.

Les was sitting right next to me as this conversation took place. I was glad of that because he is usually not around and I really like witnesses.
So yeah...Megatron Master of the Universe Evelyn gets all of this pesky tax business negotiated to her liking and wanders off.
I look over at Les with my eyes bugging out of my head and an expression that said, "Did you just see that?! Hear that?!?! How crazy is she?!!" He looks at me, nods and says:
"Oh yeah. I get it. AND tell me this, have you ever heard of a 7 year old who has some of her Barbies throw the other ones into a lava pit?"
I'm like "....." "No?"
He says: "Well I was a boy who played with army dudes and soldiers. They were  in war--war!-- but I can tell you that not once did any of my guys commit such war-time atrocities that took place with those Barbies today"

He got quiet for a minute and then said, "They did kind of deserve it. They were being just plain horrible to the other Barbies"

And that is how Megatron Master of the Universe Evelyn gets dates, her sales tax funded, and how she rules her little Barbie kingdom.
In summary: Mind control, subversive literature and lava are her Holy Trinity.
No wonder Liam looks twitchy some days.

                                                  Megatron on a recent trip to the beach.