Sunday

Today Papa instituted a day of rest. He also instituted a Papa's Choice day. I was okay with that, even if it meant endless episodes from the History Channel and lots of war stuff.
We needed it. All of us. We needed the rest, the lack of school, the lack of requirements. We let our hair down, so to speak.
This Sunday was the FIRST day, entire day, that I could feel this family congealing into what we shall be. It wasn't perfect either, but it was good. Ev took a rare nap and the entirety of that nap was spent with her on my lap. Ev and Liam PLAYED together in harmony for a long period of time. There was kissing and zerberting and hugging and playing flashlight tag in a darkened house.
There was also whining and mild disobedience and a few territorial scuffles.
But that's what it is right?
Family.
Finding those moments to hold onto in the face of things to come, or in the shadows of things past.
I could feel the dry scales of the stressed me sloughing off to reveal something shiny and new.
I could see my son making a conscious decision to BE with us.
I could see Ev reaching a deeper level of acceptance of her brother.
I could see my husband starting anew.

I do not expect that all of our hard adjusting days are over. No indeed. I was not born yesterday and this isn't my first time at the rodeo. It's just that, when you get this day. This day. That day of real ease that is the first after a new adoption, you can finally breathe. You can allow your heart and mind to begin to release the why's, the what if's, the where for's and you can cinch your boots down tighter and wade a bit deeper.

Leslie and I have been working hard and talking lots and lots as time and the children allow. We have allowed ourselves to be painfully honest with each other and we have not judged, or attempted to "fix it". We have just talked and let things out and slowly we have evolved a plan of attack for this family. A new way to be. We have calculated the trajectory of Liam and we have factored it in and we have  made real and proper strides.

This Sunday, for the first time, my son leaned into me and planted a big slobbery kiss on me, more than one in fact. I didn't ask first or make the mmmmwah face, he just wanted to kiss me and he did.

A good Sunday it was.