Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Squalor Monkey or I Can Not Believe I'm Going There

See this kid?

Do not let the cute face fool you.
He is a complete menace.
Not exactly a SLOB but maybe we can label him an Agent of Entropy.
Yes, that's it. That's what he is.
He has this aura about him- kind of like that puffy cloud around PigPen in The Peanuts. but Liam's is more of an outward cloud- a cloud of oncoming entropy that negates any cleaning a certain tired Mama gets the energy up for.

Just cleaned your window on the patio door? Proud and happy at the way the glass is shining and the view seems so crisp? Well, The Agent of Entropy can not let that go on. Nope. He will stroll through, trip over nothing and his face will slam into the glass. And he will have just eaten alot of chocolate while he has a cold. There goes your window.

Just cleaned his room? Proud that your son does indeed have a well ordered and cute little room? Go ahead and get in the shower, when you get out, he will have decided that even though playing in his room is the last thing he has wanted for 267 days running, he will now decide that he must...PLAY WITH ALL THE THINGS! And he will do so with a relish that makes Master Entropy so very proud of his littlest recruit.

Just bathed him and got him into a freshly laundered winter coat? Feeling like he is the cutest and shiniest of little boys as you attempt to load him in the car for an appointment? Wait! The Sister will neeeeeed sommmmmething and...Boom! Your clean son sort of does this standing watusi up against the car that hasn't been washed since 2007.
He will always fall into mulch. Face first.
He will never mind that rivulet of snot that is running down his face. It's like a Robert Redford film starring Brad Pitt up in here when the boy has a virus. (A River Runs Through It. Get it? Ahhh cha cha)
He will be the first human ever to consistently and always melt M&M's in his hand.
He will always drag a sleeve through ketchup.

But...see this?


This! Is his crowing glory!
Any guesses as to what it might be and where we found it?

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