What I Won't Say

It's December and that biggest, best most sparkly holiday is truly upon us. We have presents hidden all over the house, I have cookie recipes out and a baking list made up. A tree is softly glowing in one corner of the living room. I have Christmas cards ordered. We are getting ready for our first round of holiday visiting: Aunt Kathryn and Uncle Chris are headed our way tomorrow ( I sincerely hope that my cooking skills magically reappear before I cook for ClevelandKat ). I am just brimming with all kinds of emotions.

Let's just focus on the positive ones. OK? I mean I could talk about the adjustment/attachment/bonding issues that are on going here. I could complain about how much harder this second adoption was/is/shall continue to be. I could talk about how I am utterly disappointed in myself for not pulling the perfect version of me right out of the hat for Liam. I am not going to though. I am trying to make it through here. I want to enjoy Christmas and make is as magical and stress free as I can. So I won't say those things.

Instead I will tell you how cute Liam looked as he tromped through the snow, investigating pine trees at the Tree Farm. I will tell you how Evelyn's eyes sparkled and shined the entirety of Tree Day. I will tell you how wonderful it was to have the house full of that fresh pine smell and the piano tinklings of Vince Guaraldi. I will tell you that no matter how hard I find some things right now, the magic of Christmas and having this fat cheeked boy here with us, well, that simply outweighs all of the other stuff. I will tell you that I have no idea how we are going to get all of the presents wrapped and under the tree and have it all remain secret ( I don't even like Ev to see any wrapping paper!). I will tell you that I know when I am in the last moments of my life here in this realm, I will let my mind drift back and it will fall on remembering this Christmas and it will be one of the best that I have ever had.